Thursday, November 10, 2016

There’s Only One Natural Death, and Even That’s Bedcide:

            For the post-mortem amusement of Richard Brigantine

A B H O R E N C E S
November 10, 1984

Death by over-seasoning: Herbicide
Death by annoyance: Pesticide
Death by suffocation: Carbon monoxide
Death by burning: Firecide
Death by falling: Cliffcide
Death by hiking: Trailcide
Death by camping: Campcide
Death by drowning:       Rivercide
                                  Lakecide
                                  Oceancide
Death from puking: Curbcide
Death from boredom: Hearthcide
Death at the hands of the medical profession: Dockcide
Death from an overnight stay: Inncide
Death by suprise: Backcide
Death by blow to the head: Upcide
Death from delirious voting: Rightcide
Death from hounding: Leftcide
Death through war: Theircide & Ourcide
Death by penalty: Offcide
Death following a decision: Decide

from: Abhorrences, Copyright 1980.

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