Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarcasm. Show all posts

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Saturday Farmer's Market - Autumn Color



Created by Heather at Capricious Reader, and now hosted by Chris at Stuff as Dreams are Made on.

UPDATE from Last Week:

Remember these from a few Saturdays ago?  I told you that they were an important part of my garden and were going to be a part of a project that I would tell you about in the future.

Surprise! Project's finished! (finally)

These are my hose guides. They are inexpensive, easy to make, and have sparked lots of conversations over the years.

When asked what they are, my answers usually include talk of some sort of clandestine surveillance by otherworldly beings or sentient earthworms. (I never have to worry about neighborhood kids on my lawn.)

They needed a new coat of paint and I did something I have wanted to do for a long time. I gave them Eyeballs. Now they really are spooky things watching my garden.












Today's poem is:

         Christina Rossetti's Goblin Market.

This is only an excerpt, and you can find the full text {here} I know it's kind of long,
but the beauty of its terror is incredible.

Morning and evening
Maids heard the goblins cry:
“Come buy our orchard fruits,
Come buy, come buy:
Apples and quinces,
Lemons and oranges,
Plump unpeck’d cherries,
Melons and raspberries,
Bloom-down-cheek’d peaches,
Swart-headed mulberries,
Wild free-born cranberries,
Crab-apples, dewberries,
Pine-apples, blackberries,
Apricots, strawberries;—
All ripe together
In summer weather,—
Morns that pass by,
Fair eves that fly;
Come buy, come buy:
Our grapes fresh from the vine,
Pomegranates full and fine,
Dates and sharp bullaces,
Rare pears and greengages,
Damsons and bilberries,
Taste them and try:
Currants and gooseberries,
Bright-fire-like barberries,
Figs to fill your mouth,
Citrons from the South,
Sweet to tongue and sound to eye;
Come buy, come buy.”

               Evening by evening
Among the brookside rushes,
Laura bow’d her head to hear,
Lizzie veil’d her blushes:
Crouching close together
In the cooling weather,
With clasping arms and cautioning lips,
With tingling cheeks and finger tips.
“Lie close,” Laura said,
Pricking up her golden head:
“We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?”
“Come buy,” call the goblins
Hobbling down the glen.

“Oh,” cried Lizzie, “Laura, Laura,
You should not peep at goblin men.”
Lizzie cover’d up her eyes,
Cover’d close lest they should look;
Laura rear’d her glossy head,
And whisper’d like the restless brook:
“Look, Lizzie, look, Lizzie,
Down the glen tramp little men.
One hauls a basket,
One bears a plate,
One lugs a golden dish
Of many pounds weight.
How fair the vine must grow
Whose grapes are so luscious;
How warm the wind must blow
Through those fruit bushes.”
“No,” said Lizzie, “No, no, no;
Their offers should not charm us,
Their evil gifts would harm us.”
She thrust a dimpled finger
In each ear, shut eyes and ran:
Curious Laura chose to linger
Wondering at each merchant man.
One had a cat’s face,
One whisk’d a tail,
One tramp’d at a rat’s pace,
One crawl’d like a snail,
One like a wombat prowl’d obtuse and furry,
One like a ratel tumbled hurry skurry.
She heard a voice like voice of doves
Cooing all together:
They sounded kind and full of loves
In the pleasant weather.

                  . . . Read On . . .




Spring started early this year, only to be punctuated by one last freeze after the bulbs and buds were well on their way.

Luckily, the early bloomers all escaped harm to perform beautifully.



We also had a last rain shower well into the beginning of summer, after trees were fully flowered, which caused some problems. For Orchardists it raised issues with splitting fruit and mold. For folks like myself the problems had more to do with the weight added to fully flowered branches. I had to do some emergency pruning to avoid splitting of major branches.

Right now Spring flowers are beginning to greet their fall cousins still in bloom. The garden is full of birds, mostly hummingbirds, scrub jays, and finches. Sometimes it seems that there are as many finches as there are leaves fallen off the trees.

Speaking of leaves. We have never been blessed with especially showy displays of autumn color here, but this year was different. Well, let's face it, this year has been different all the way around. My crepe myrtle has had the most spectacular reddish orange color. It has never been so beautiful. Unfortunately I didn't think to actually take pictures until the leaves started dropping - and they're dropping fast. I just wish my pictures could do it justice.






Saturday, November 2, 2013

Saturday Farmer's Market - Fall Blooms


Created by Heather at Capricious Reader, and now hosted by Chris at Stuff as Dreams are Made on.

UPDATE from Last Week:    

I'm feeling much better, thank you. Apparently, though antibiotics are losing their effectiveness on terrestrial bacteria due to severe over use, they still work on extraterrestrial chest busting alien life forms. And I'm told that adequate fiber will ward off future infestations. Yes, well . .

UPDATE #2:     

I actually tweaked my intended Saturday Farmer's Market post and used it on Thursday.

So how about today I hold off on the blather and just share some of what is still blooming? My camera doesn't do well for close up or far away pictures, but At mid range they are passable.








If it is true that one of the greatest pleasures of gardening lies in looking forward, then the planning of next year's beds and borders must be one of the most agreeable occupations in the gardener's calendar. 

 This should make October and November particularly pleasant months, for then we may begin to clear our borders, to cut down those sodden and untidy stalks, to dig up and increase our plants, and to move them to other positions where they will show up to greater effect. 
People who are not gardeners always say that the bare beds of winter are uninteresting; gardeners know better, and take even a certain pleasure in the neatness of the newly dug, bare, brown earth.

- Vita Sackville-West



Saturday, October 26, 2013

Saturday Farmer's Market - A Post in Time of Plague



Created by Heather at Capricious Reader, and now hosted by Chris at Stuff as Dreams are Made on.

UPDATE from Last Week:   

One of the things I love about my blog is that the upkeep is relatively easy. A little time spent doing what I enjoy, reading poetry and looking at beautiful things, yields so much for me to share with you.

But the Saturday Farmer's Market posts are a different story altogether. Most of them require actual physical labor of one sort or another. Well . . .



It has been a rough week and I'm afraid I haven't much to share. You see, late last week I developed a pain in my abdomen on the lower left side. Not much of interest resides there, so when it had finally incapacitated me, I knew just what it was.

An incubating alien had taken up residence in my abdomen and was in the process of digging its way out. Unfortunately, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of medical equipment and expertise failed to locate said alien neonate.

My doctor, to cover up his incompetence, declared that I have an infection, possibly diverticulitis, and put me on antibiotics. The alien seems to have a sensitivity to antibiotics, as the intense pain is beginning to subside. (lucky for my doctor)

But the upshot of all this is that I have done no work in the garden this week. I have barely even been able to water. And with all the new projects I have created for myself . . .

Anyway, as I seem to be (at least temporarily) on the mend, I should have something new for you next week. Until then, I will leave you with a poem.

A Litany in Time of Plague
- Thomas Nashe

Adieu, farewell, earth's bliss;
This world uncertain is;
Fond are life's lustful joys;
Death proves them all but toys;
None from his darts can fly;
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Rich men, trust not in wealth,
Gold cannot buy you health;
Physic himself must fade.
All things to end are made,
The plague full swift goes by;
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Beauty is but a flower
Which wrinkles will devour;
Brightness falls from the air;
Queens have died young and fair;
Dust hath closed Helen's eye.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Strength stoops unto the grave,
Worms feed on Hector brave;
Swords may not fight with fate,
Earth still holds open her gate.
"Come, come!" the bells do cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Wit with his wantonness
Tasteth death's bitterness;
Hell's executioner
Hath no ears for to hear
What vain art can reply.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Haste, therefore, each degree,
To welcome destiny;
Heaven is our heritage,
Earth but a player's stage;
Mount we unto the sky.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

 Silence by john henry fuseli

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A SERIOUS QUANDRY

Which Poem Would YOU Ban from the School Syllabus?

"In these uncertain times when it’s hard for some people to distinguish between a poem and a random act of violence, it is comforting to know that we have the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) to protect us from harm. You might recall that the AQA made the decision to pulp an anthology of poems for an English Literature examination because it contained a poem, Education for Leisure by Carol Ann Duffy, in which a teenager flushes a goldfish down a toilet and then carries a bread knife onto the streets."

"One thing is certain: today’s poetry-reading adolescents become tomorrow’s deviant adults. We must make sure that poems taught in our classrooms are uniformly bland and as irrelevant to their readers as possible."

 

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE COMMENTS
AT THE LINK ABOVE.
THEY ARE TRULY EDUCATIONAL!



"my poem to be decisively pulped would be DylanThomas’ do not go gently into the night…and the reason:
i think, particularly with the ongoing swine flu epidemic and rising OAP population, people should be encouraged to lie down and give in. no more heroics or indoctrinating the young to take responsibility for the care of elders. Encouraging the nation to buck up, be healthy and look after ourselves is at best irresponsible, at worst dangerous."

chained hands reaching up from an open book